Monthly Archives: August 2007

Greenbelt 2007 Part 1

Greenbelt 2007 – stunning.
In a different way to usual.

This year, before arriving, in my head I had to prepare myself to not be running round like a blue arsed fly trying to get to everything. (Not that I usually do anyway) … but I got into my head that this weekend HAD to be relaxing. I desperately needed it to be.

Anyway, apart from running around from one place to another for coffee or tea, or water with people, I really didnt do much. And it was great.

Heaven in the Ordinary?

The Greenbelt theme, and for me, thats what it felt like. Heaven in the very ordinary things, like sleeping, eating, drinking and seeing people.

I slept when I wanted to. Got up when I wanted to. Caught up with many amazing, inspiring and awesome friends. Had lots of coffee, and good food. Good company. Good sun. Beautiful.

Thank you to the people who helped me out with my GB ticket. You know who you are, and I am deeply touched and thankful for that.

more to come on the few things I did attend, but these are my first few thoughts on the weekend.Greenbelt

my dilemma

ok, so i went to the parents for a long weekend …

i took my make up with me, as you do. Or as I do …

and then, as you DONT do, I left it.


now because I have been living as a hermit for the last three days it wasnt a problem, but when I went to find it this morning before facing the world and friends for lunch, it wasnt there. PROBLEM!

So … do I go out and buy some basic make up? Or try and go without …
the only thing is, I am camping at the weekend, so I said to mum on phone, maybe I could go spend 20 quid on some eyeliner, etc … (i have spare eyeshadows and stuff here) or do i go without!?!

bearing in mind i have to go and do some work this week for a friend, and having some people round for dinner, and and and ….


a rainbow

I didn’t have my camera with me, or I did, but not the memory card , helpful, and saw the most amazing rainbow. Ever been so captivated by something? Well I was, by a rainbow. Never thought it would happen, but it did.

So, to go back to the beginning, I had a stressful trip yesterday, all the trains out of my back and beyond home town were canceled. Replacement buses were late and took forever when they did get here. By the time I got on the train back to London, I was tired and not hugely happy. Its been a rough few days, in fact, a rough few months all round.

I finally sat on the train and it all hit me, and I had to stop myself bursting into tears! Sad I know. I managed it anyway. Put the ipod on, stared out of the window and day dreamed. Thought back to my job which I no longer work, the last two years, life in the city, the dog dying, the assault a few weeks ago, dad being ill, and other stuff.
Thought about my faith journey, and where I stood right now with Jesus. It wasnt looking great!

Anyway, outside , the sky was black, the clouds were thick and the rain was coming down. Hardly inspiring is it.
Then suddenly I had a spiritual moment, eeek!
I saw a rainbow. The most vibrant, colourful, beautiful rainbow. I could see from one end to the other (as much as you can with a rainbow) and it was stunning.
What was more stunning was the fact it seemed to go over the black clouds … this rainbow, electrifying in colour and shape covered the dark black thick clouds.
Ever so slowly (well, in 5 mins or so) the black clouds then started to give way to really blue sky.
I have to say, I have just never seen anything like it.

I was listening to a song on my Ipod, some of the lyrics go like this :

My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I’m walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out
I need You, Oh, I need You
Blessed Savior

(the middle bit which i am not typing)

My bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair
That I keep falling in
I need You, Oh, I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, Oh, I need You

It all just fitted, the words were so true for me. And as I sat on the train and watched this rainbow, and remembered that God in it all, I thought , actually I cant do this with out Him. To be all mushy, I just cant.
All the thoughts in my head about walking away, saying sod it to the idea of believing in a Saviour, everything, I just cant do it. And this rainbow thing reminded me, that in amongst everything that is happening, in amongst the move and the new move I will be making again very soon, and the trauma, and the sick, and the everything God is around.

end of mush.

Rest in Peace Bella

the dog

Nearly 11 years ago our family home got invaded by the arrival of what we affectionately called a rat on a stick.
My parents decided to bring a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel thing into our house hold, and it was never the same.
A gorgeous dog, small, but with character and such a chilled out personality. She became a friend, and part of the family. (Yes I know to some of you reading this you will go, “she was only a dog”, but I dont care).
My dog has seen me through the last 11 years, she has been there to play in the good times, and there to cuddle in the bad. She used to sense if something was wrong and would cuddle up to you and just be.

She pined when I moved away, and would run around the house looking for me when I had been home for a weekend and then gone again. She would sit in the window at 6 pm waiting for mum to come home from work.

She was a dog, but she was part of our family. And she is gone now.

She was poorly, and it was cruel to let her keep going. She was sedated this morning, but it didnt do enough to let her sleep, she was in pain. The vet came a few hours ago. It was the right thing to do.

But I will miss her.

Rest in Peace Bella babes, and thank you for being such an amazing little thing .

the dog, again

hair and custard

my new hair gurus

ok, so this is one of the pictures taken, while away running a group trip to one of the big youth events. I think, for a few moments I lost my mind as I allowed three young persons of the male variety lose on my hair with hot irons, spray and anything else they could find. Everyone thought it was hilarious

Below is also proof and evidence I can now make instant custard HURRRRAH AND in a field too …!


there will be no more pictures of this camping trip to come so make the most of what you got 🙂

sleep sleep sleep


so, one day i was haveing a chat with some of the dedicated adults I took away on camp with me. And then they went off, so I took the chance of no YP around to have a kip, where I was. Then I awoke, to find four teenagers staring down at me, one with a camera. He then kindly emailed me the photo saying he wished to see it appear on my blog, so here is the all flattering picture of Dreamer with bed head asleep half in and half out her tent.

There are two other pictures to come, but they need editing first, one which proves I can now make perfect custard, even on a camp stove, and the other which proves how totally barking I am allowing three teenage boys loose on my hair with hot irons and hairspray ….


am still alive, just

completed two of the work camping trips, successfully yay, and finished my job, scary!

housing situ complicated, more to come on that …

just one more camping weekend to go this summer, but that is pure weekend off time for me.

I am coping ok with health just about, dad still ill. In fact alot more ill than I thought. looks like he might need to start some treatment soon but waiting to hear on that one. The dog is still dying much sadness 🙁

ANyway, I just wanted to sign in, to let you, and Buddee know I am still alive 🙂

dreamer x